Organizing "Stuff" is Easy - It's Organizing People that's a Bitch!

I'm going to take a pause with tips on how to organize your "stuff" in this post. For me, I happen to have been born with a day planner in one hand and color-coded files in the other. It's never been the "stuff" that's been a struggle for me. The real challenge is organizing the people in my life. Here's my list of the top 5 people to have in your life.

1. YOU: Because there's no escaping yourself. You can try. A glass or two of a fine Pinot might do the trick for a short time but once the haze wears off, there you are again. The same you. Not the you comprised of your ceaseless thoughts and rollercoaster of emotions. The You (capital Y) that resides beyond these constraints. The You underneath the jumble of thoughts and emotions that reflects the perfect person you are. Learn to love her (because there's no other choice!).

2. That Dr. Phil Friend: The one that tells you the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, 100% of the time. Sure they piss you off sometimes because the Truth Pill is not sugar-coated. But this person will help you see beyond the rose-tinted glasses and give you that kick in the butt to make real changes in your life.

3. Cheerleader: One, you are going to need someone to balance out your Dr.-Phil friend. Two, an encouraging word and reminder of just how fabulous you are is necessary from time to time.

4. BFF: Yes, I used that cheesy descriptor (but I'm from Wisconsin so a bit of "cheesiness" is to be expected from time to time). By "best friend forever" I'm referring to having someone in your life that has known you, well, forever (or at least as far back as memory goes - in my case, it's age 4). They've witnessed the bed-wetting incident, the horrific perm, the first kiss, and you've certainly had at least one blow-out fight. This person serves as the constant reminder that no matter what happens in life, there is always someone there for you.

5. Soulmates: This word has come to take on such a weighty, romanticized meaning. For me, I take out the romance and add a dash of realism. I believe that at different times in our lives we come across people that will reflect back to us an image of our own souls. These moments may be fleeting so don't let them pass you by. It's at these times of reflection that we are given the gift to witness the greatness of our own humanity.

And if I can leave you with one final tip I try to live by, it's this - after you are with someone, do you feel better or worse about yourself? If the answer is better, they should be someone you consider keeping around. So this week, work on organizing yourself around people that love you for the perfect person you are!

Ancestry Smamcestry

My ancestors were poor Irish Catholic farmers. For generations the equation remained the same – toil in the fields by day, drink by night, and repent your sins on Sunday. I recently began to ask - How many generations does it take before some of the traditions begin to get diluted?

What’s the harm in watering down a few lessons passed down to me and making them my own? One lesson is the do it-yourself mentality. I can hear the echoes now: “If your hands aren’t broke why would you pay someone to wash your floors?” This do-it-yourself standard has dominated my behavior my entire life. I still wash my own car, scrub my own toilets, and make most meals from scratch. Until recently, that is. I’ve been trying to practice what I preach and embrace simplicity. And if that means hiring a cleaner from time to time to scrub the floors so I can spend treasured time with those nearest and dearest to me, then so be it.* So here’s to setting down that mop (for this week, at least!) and enjoying a glass of wine.

* Warning: Be careful not to add too much water or you could lose the tradition altogether. Add just enough to make it your own. Hold onto the aspects of the tradition that bring you joy and toss out the parts that do not align with the life of your dreams.

Clarity Amongst Chaos

We've all had THOSE days. You know what I'm talking about. The ones where you wake up on the metaphorical wrong side of the bed. I don't think that phrase is strong enough - "wrong side of the bed" just doesn't cut it. It's more like you're in a dead sleep, someone picks you up over their head, and proceeds to drop you on the floor. Yeah, that's the day I had yesterday.

It started okay. I crept into the kitchen to have my morning cereal. To my dismay, the milk was sour. Hmm, I had just bought it. Upon more investigation, I figured out that it wasn't the milk so much as the whole refrigerator had stopped working. I knew we had to get it fixed asap or throw everything away. Usually I would simply call the landlords and they would take care of it. Not today. They were in Europe (lucky them) and not home to deal with a broken refrigerator. I started calling repair shops (none were open). One of their answering machines even hung up on me. I then realized I was late for work - note here that as a professional organizer, it's a cardinal rule to never be late (we're supposed to be organized, right!). Halfway through the project I got a return call from someone that could come out today to fix the fridge! Hallelejah! The only catch - they give a four hour block of time - and I was midway through a project. I ended up re-scheduling the second half of the project to go home and do the waiting game. I arrive home to a locked door, realized I forgot my keys in my rush to leave in the morning, and am officially locked out. I'll stop here, but you get the point.

Now I'm sharing my chaos with you not to complain (okay, to complain a little) but more to serve as a reminder that controlling our outer environment is not possible. It's our inner selves that allow us to navigate our outer lives with grace. So as much as we all try to control our outer lives, take some time to reflect on your inner being. Practice on manifesting grace in all the obstacles that life throws at you. This practice will be the hardest and most rewarding gift you can give to yourself. So when the refrigerator kaputs or any number of uncontrollable things, remember to breathe, ask for help, and keep moving forward.

Confession Time

Although I'm a subscriber to a spiritual belief system today that doesn't have any neat label, in my youth, I was raised in a large Irish Catholic family. The nuns, the Latin, the stand-up-sit-down pew liturgy, the rosary, the confessional - all of these elements have been embedded in me. So like the nun with some racy lingerie peeking through her habit, I have a confession to make today. I am a professional organizer that - gasp - has an extremely DISorganized problem.

Since starting my business I have not updated my financial statements and have no clear idea of where my business stands. I share this information with you in hopes that you will define your own fear and face it head on like I did today!

I believe that when there is fear in our life, we tend to avoid it like the plague until it becomes the elephant in the room that can no longer be ignored. For most of my life I have had a fear of money. I witnessed my parents struggle to raise me and my siblings. Now today I continue to live paycheck to paycheck not because I have to, but because it's all I've ever known. Today I faced my fear and spent the entire day reviewing and updating my finances. During the process, my stomach was knotted and my anxiety level was high. However, I faced my fear and got through it. Now I have a clear idea of where me and my business stand. Whatever your fear is, please take a moment to think about one thing you can do today to face that fear. Like me, is it finally looking at how you spend your money? Or is it a fear of failure that continues to hinder you from moving forward in your career? Or maybe your fear of being vulnerable has prevented you from having deep personal relationships? Take a moment to shine a light in that corner you've been avoiding. Sometimes it's not as scary as you think.